Creating & Setting Boundaries
Stop Making Yourself AVAILABLE
Stop making yourself available for chaotic ties, energy-consuming relationships and things that require you to overexert your peace of mind. Protecting your peace does not make you selfish. You’re not a bad guy for establishing boundaries in your life. Above any union or situation, your psyche should be highly prioritized.
When you find yourself being a relentless cheerleader or therapist for emotionally dependent friends, or if you see the pattern of giving too much of your power away, you need to create boundaries.
You need to draw a dividing line in your life that separates all things that serve you, versus the things that hinder you.
Establishing boundaries is reassessing how much access and power you’re giving away to external situations and individuals. Protecting your peace is consciously reiterating those boundaries and having them align with your personal values.
There’s this song lyric that really captures this all for me. “Look at that sun still shining down here. I’m never going to let your bring your clouds back around here.”
Simply put, your soul is not a revolving door for others’ baggage, empty promises and unclear commitments. People who nonchalantly pop in + out of your life, based on their benefit are toxic to your peace. Imagine being the shoulder to cry on, building that person up, only to rarely hear from them afterwards. It’s quite the same as having a recurring tie who seemingly matches your spirit and meets you in the middle. Except, once that elevated, intense bonding fizzles out, that person fades into a mirage until they decide to call you up or message you weeks later. That’s so not it.
Over it?
If you’re seriously over the mindless games and flakiness, put your foot down. To put an end to energy vampires, you need to fearlessly set boundaries.
You set boundaries by:
being transparent with yourself and understanding your values
being aware of your non-negotiables and needs
learning to say ‘NO’
sticking to your rules
You don’t have to over-explain yourself.
The biggest thing about protecting your peace & creating boundaries is that you do not have to explain yourself. Sometimes boundaries go without telling. People mature at their own speeds and when it comes time again to meet in the middle, they already have a sense of respect for themselves & you. Then you both go your separate ways, with peace and boundaries protected.
When a highly accessible person puts their foot down and establishes boundaries, it may come across as passive. Like, pssssh look at this girl with the power + control chip on her shoulder. But it shouldn’t be like that.
You’re not the bad guy for wanting limits. No, you don’t have to condone inappropriate behavior. You don’t have to answer every text message. You don’t have to accept every invite. You’re allowed to distance yourself from old patterns and groups that do not elevate your life. You don’t have to explain yourself anymore.
