Manifesting Relationships & Rewriting Your ‘Type’

You know you’re really breaking the fourth wall when you start sharing your thoughts on the Internet—but hey, I wouldn’t be The Visionary Boss without fearlessly typing away on this platform. Discussing the depths of relationships, love and thyself is second nature for me. I’m smirking as I type this, but I believe my words have power and open readers’ eyes. So, I vow to continue pushing the boundary and dive deeper into these topics.

Lately, the word ‘manifest’ has been a huge buzz word. It’s funny, but kind of beautiful how accessible it is to focus on desires, wants and goals. It starts with yourself, but true manifestation comes with discipline and truly believing. You have to believe that you deserve more.

It makes me a little sad that a lot of us allow rejection from others, status quo, and expectations alter our perceptions of ourselves in relationships & what we should accept. I’ve had tons of friends (girls & guys) who convinced themselves they weren’t worthy of love or didn’t deserve more.

Babes, stop settling.

Settling comes in waves. It’s different for everyone. Maybe, you keep going for guys who don’t put in effort. Maybe, you continue to pursue girls who bring nothing to the table. Maybe, he’s spoiling you, gifting you lavish presents and wining & dining you, but he’s not fully respecting you—that is still settling.

You deserve relationships that are whole and that complement your soul. If you find yourself accepting the shorter end of the stick, and crave for different, you have to let go of everything you thought you knew about yourself in relationships.

The list.

We often make lists, especially when it comes to dating. “She has to be bad, thick & have long, curly hair—” or “He has to be over 5’10, have nice lips—”. Enough of those lists. You wonder why your relationships cannot succeed when you spend the entire time manifesting and putting emphasis on lustful, one-dimensional aspects. Attraction and all the cutesy details are nice, but you have to manifest the structure, wholeness and how well the relationship will complement you as you elevate in life.

I can admit, I’ve written detailed lists before. Along the lines of wanting someone physically & mentally strong. To lift me up the same way I lift myself up. Attractive, muscular, tattooed, crisp. A polished man’s man with a gorgeous spirit, dark hair, kind eyes and full brows. Someone who gets me and all my little big things. Someone socially aware, selfless, who has an admiration for life, who wants to pursue multiple business ventures. I could go on. I’ve even written that I wanted someone patient, kind, polite, loving, honest, truthful and compassionate. But the biggest thing I’ve learned is we can write boundless lists describing the type of partner we want, all the new adventures we want to experience with them, e.t.c., but instead of daydreaming away, we should make mental notes of what we need to do to grow/elevate to the same level of the idea we’re craving.

Rewrite & rethink your type.

You cannot help who you’re physical attracted to, but I think there’s value in being aware of what you’re drawn to. Are you drawn to ‘nice guys’ who are actually passive assholes who feel like you owe them something? Haha. Are you hopelessly devoted to guys who wouldn’t want to seriously commit even if they tried to? Do you gravitate to ‘damaged’ people who are emotionally unavailable? You have to understand your type. There was this one lyric in a Weezer song that went: The truth is that I’m just as scared. I don’t know how to act. I wish that I could get to know her better, but meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter. Dang. When you compartmentalize that lyric it can hit home. Sometimes, our types or what we think our types are, are just illusions, projections or expectations.

Over the years I’ve had different ‘types.’ Physical and mental. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if he has a brown skin, a deep Caesar cut with waves and a well-groomed beard, or if he’s Mediterranean with a man-bun and gleaming eyes, or if he’s over six foot and dresses like he’s from an Urban Outfitters catalog. LOL, these have all been times of mine. Quite frankly, it doesn’t matter if you look like Keith Powers or Maluma. As I get wiser, I realize more and more, the type that needs manifesting is personality & lifestyle ‘type.’ I need someone strong. Strength is not perfection, but it’s far better than that. It’s grit, heart and real. I want someone who complements me in real life, not just Instagram photos, to my friends and what the Twitter world finds fine & attractive.

Elevate.

put yourself in the position & situations that will elevate your mind, body & soul.

Elevating and creating stability is the theme of my early twenties. I have dreams and the right to chase them. I want my dreams & manifestations to translate in my well-thought out actions, relationships, friendships and the opportunities I align myself with. I have rich tastes. When J.T. sung I can see us holding hands. Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand. I can see us on the countryside, sitting on the grass, laying side by side. I felt that. LOL, I thought of late-twenties me diving into adventure, wanderlust, and lots of charcuterie boards with a future partner. But most importantly, I thought of a well-versed counterpart who wants to live larger than life & who is rich in spirit, trust and communication.

The biggest advice and virtue that I can give is to not settle for what you truly want, for temporary gratification, attention and just to pass the time. All of those things are roadblocks, that are shallow. You deserve more. Once you believe and accept that, you’ll have more confidence, a better outlook and more discipline. God will align you with friends, and eventually a relationship that will complement your spirit, and life.

Cheers to that.